Allrighty every body lets read a Story!

Tom The Lepard Man

Once upon a time there was a man.  This was no ordinary man, because he looked like a man but sometimes he just felt like a leopard trapped inside a man's body.  His name was Tom.  Tom liked to eat like a leopard and smell like a leopard and fart like a leopard and nibble on lesser animals like cute little bunnies....mmmmmmmmm......."I'm lovin' it" Tom said.  Tom's mom thought this was a problem because leopards couldn't set the table or do their homework or make their beds or brush their teeth and So Tom's mom took him to Inner Leopards Manegment Inc. where he could manage his inner leopard.  Tom met many other people with leopard problems including George W. Bush, The Backstreet Boys, Brad Pitt, and there was a mixup with Gwen Stefani because she thought it was inner monkey management  because she was obsessing about B-A-N-A-N-A-S (and her song helped me to spell that word, I'm not kidding!).  The Councelors at the Leopard Place were very friendly and could understand leopard things.  They told Tom how to think and eat like a human while still being like a leopard! Wow! Isn't that grand? -Stephen Jacobson

The Parable of the Stupid Ninja

Once upon a time there was a ninja who was rather stupid.  This ninja lived in the land of the Smurfs so he was sexy and blue and short and Japanese and was also a gangster rapper foo'.  So dis homie fro' da Central Southern Southwestern side hotel of da hood (the land of the smurfs) he wanted to stop Stewie's world domination plan because he had the hots Lois and he thought Stewie was dumb and Lois was a genious.  So the ninja (let's call him Mr. Snuffaluffagus) broke into Stewie's secret lair with his super teenage mutant ninja powers and then stewie was chasing Mr. Snuffaluffagus with his really really really ridicuously good looking ray guy across the street and Mr. Snuffaluffagus jolted across the street and got hit by a 3 year old tricylist and suffered major mental problems (like A.D.D) so now he has the IQ of about a piece of horse manure.  The moral of this story is to look both ways before crossing the street.